YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS A BABY and other things you shouldn’t say to people

1. You smell. Often. It makes me gag.
2. Were you born this way? Or did you have a tragic incident as a child?
3. I was bored with this conversation before you finished your first sentence.
4. That dress makes you look like someone’s grandmother.
5. Your boyfriend is a jerk and he hits on me when you are in the bathroom.
6. If you relate one more conversation to the scriptures, I am going to lock you in the closet.
7. Stop eating! It is constant and disgusting.
8. Your mother needs to solve her own problems rather than calling your cell every five minutes.
9. If you have a test to study for, why the heck are you at a dance class?
10. Please stop complaining about your homework, I could have completed it in Middle School.
11. That dress makes you look like a whore.
12. If you were any dumber, I am pretty sure you wouldn’t have lived past childhood.
13. I really hope you don’t reproduce.
14. My bedroom is not a hallway.
15. Don’t talk to me while I am in the restroom, it gives me the creeps.
16. If I were you, I would wear longer skirts.
17. There is such a thing as overindulgence.
18. No one cares what your dream was about.
19. Tell your idiot boyfriend to shut up.
20. I haven’t listened to a bit of this conversation and I still don’t feel as if I have missed anything.

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